The Gods Are Against Me!

Last I checked, I was not illegitimately fathered by Zeus; nor had I engaged in any illicit behavior with Zeus. The problem is, he's a very tricky fellow, and often when he wants something, he gets it. He's come to women in the form of showers of gold, various animals, and in impersonations of other people. So really, who's to know if he hadn't jumped into bed with my mother and fathered me, or, jumped into bed with me in disguise so I don't know the difference? What does this have to do with anything you ask? Well, the other day, when I was fighting through the snow and mud (yes, you heard right, snow, and mud, and puddles actually) to get the Fargo back into it's place in the hangar, I realized that someone is against me, and that someone had to be Hera, Zeus' wife. Why would Hera be against me? Well, that's what the whole beginning of this paragraph. I must have been either a bastard child of Zeus' or some form of adulterous conquest, because those were always the causes of Hera's anger. And she always found out, she is a godess herself afterall. And when she did find out, she always retaliated. Never really against Zeus as much as at the objects of his conquests. Hence, myself  being one.

I know, I make no sense. Let me explain a little better; consider Heracles (the Romans changed his name to Hercules, but he was originally Heracles). He was the child of one of Zeus' illicit affairs and Hera made him go crazy and kill his wife and kids, to which he had to atone with the 12 labours, but that's not a pleasant thought so that's often cut out of the stories. She also tested many of the heros to get back at them for being children of her husband. She also tried to kill the women he slept with, whether they wanted to sleep with him or not. My point is, I'm pretty sure she's testing me. Not in the same sense as Heracles or Perseus, I'm not on some quest to kill three-headed lizards or man-eating lions, but every time I try to fly, something makes my life utter misery. So instead of blaming it on my wimpy, feminine strength or lack of mechanical ability, I'm blaming it on the fact that some jealous greek goddess is out to get me. It's just more interesting that way.

So, what did Hera do to me this time? Well, not that much, just sent enough obstacles to make myself question, once again, why I put myself through all off this for a simple little gander around the area. There was a compacted, icy, snow ridge blocking only the part of the hangar containing my plane. And all around it was either cold, thick mud or icy cold puddles in the grass. I had to run through the mud to find a shovel to get it out only to  be ankle deep in near-frozen water. But at least, at that point, I had my friend to help me. The problem was what happened when I returned. It was cold, we were wet, and I felt bad making my friend wait for me in the muddy sludge that was supposed to be a hangar. All I had left to do was winch it in anyway, so I told her I was fine so she could return to the cozy warmth of her home.

The rope on the winch broke. Snapped right in half when I was trying to pull in the Fargo by its tail. So, I had to make an attempt to push it in, as it was still half-out of the hangar. I was slipping and sliding in the mud, getting wetter and colder by the minute, and the Fargo wouldn't budge. I tried pushing it, pulling it, coaxing it, talking to it. Nothing worked. The Fargo was hell-bent on remaining where it was. I'm pretty sure had I looked, I would have seen Hera leaning against the back of the hangar, somehow immaculately clean in her white robes, laughing at me and saying, "And you want to fly into the bush? Well, you can't even park it in a hangar, nevermind on a mountain top. I guess you never should have slept with my husband."

Honestly, when you have a goddess against you, is there much point continuing the struggle? I mean, she had the force of Olympus on her side. And I was a wet, cold, weak little human with no sign of divine ancestry that I know of. So I went home. Later I realized that perhaps it wasn't Hera or any other greek god/dess testing me, but simple common sense. It shouldn't have required Athena's wisdom to realize I simply could have tied a knot in the rope. I guess next time I curse the gods for making my life miserable, I should really just curse my parents for not giving me the sense required to tie my own shoes!