Introducing the Fargo

It has been a full two months now since I've been able to consider myself among the lucky few who own an airplane. However, where most people are excited and eager to brag about their new airplane, I have my doubts that this can even be classifed as one. It's about as much an airplane as a pink toy keyboard is a piano. For the sake of a reference point, it is a 1964 Cessna 150 with a Continental O-200 motor that does not like to run smoothly. As a matter of fact, it doesn't particularly like to run at all, and at the moment, is currently sitting torn apart in a hangar waiting for parts. Parts that are impossible to find due to the fact that they've been obsolete or out of production for a good twenty years, give or take a few. To make matters worse, I can't even claim ownership on the entire thing, for I only own half of it, and not even the good half, only the passenger half. (In my defense, I am a complete beginner to aviation and have yet to take my flight test so, as a student pilot, cannot be the pilot in command unless it's under the supervision of an instructor and therefore am automatically demoted to co-pilot/passenger when flying with another pilot).

So, with that little bit of an introduction to me and my plane, I'm going to let you in on what I've learned so far, in the short time since I've joined the ranks of plane-owners.


The most important rule of plane ownership: do not buy a piece of shit.


If it feels like your father's 1968 superbeatle that you crashed several times while learning to drive, it probably runs about the same. . . sporadically.


If, when going through your checklist, you 'hope' that the seatbelts and doors are secure because it took several slamming attempts to make it stay shut, you might not want to buy it because at some point when you're several thousand feet above ground level, the doors will come open and those seatbelts just might not save you.


If you don't want to buy a car from a mechanic because of the long standing joke that mechanic's cars are always broke down, do not turn around and buy your plane from an AME because, unfortunately for you, that joke is not so funny when you're attempting to call in for your clearance and your radio doesn't work due to crappy wiring or your touch 'n go has become a full stop due to the burning smell that has filtered into your cabin.

And finally, if the person with whom you are buying the plane is embarrassed of your slow and dorky 150 so that he nicknamed it "The Fargo", and you liken it to a Pontiac Firefly with wings, you should probably get back on Barnstormers and find someone dumb enough to trade their much-cooler taildragger for your lame-ass Cessna (and those people exist, he was one of them which is how I ended up with the Fargo in the first place). Something that won't get stuck at the end of the runway and hold up the waiting traffic or need to be pushed back from the pumps after fueling because it does not have the ability to start more than once in a day.


And there you have it; my advice on purchasing a plane. Keep in mind this is not exclusive and there's probably things I've forgotten, not to mention I am a newbie and perhaps these are some things all pilots deal with when they buy a plane. Maybe this is simply working out the kinks. I doubt it. But for now, I'm going to go watch real pilots fly real planes on youtube since mine has been grounded.